Letting Go and Letting God

But the Lord said to Ananias, "Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name," Acts 9:15-16.

This is the commissioning made by our Lord concerning Apostle Paul (or Saul) after his conversion on the road to Damascus. It is quite the burden that is placed on Paul at the start of his Christian walk with our Lord. He was to be shown 'how much he must suffer' for the sake of Christ. Reading on about the story of Paul in the New Testament, we see just how true this was for him as he disregarded everything of life for the joy of knowing God in Christ Jesus:

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things, I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of the resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Philippians 3:7-11

And Paul suffered for Christ. He experienced insults, false accusation, imprisonment, floggings, stonings, hunger, destitution. Paul became absolutely nothing in the eyes of the world. This was his commissioning by the Lord of Love and Grace? You bet!

Why? To glorify God.

This was Paul's calling...but it in reality is each Christians individual calling also. If we read the New Testament, this theme runs thick in the ink marks of our bibles. And if we're honest with ourselves, we have to admit, we don't like this about our faith. I think confidently 80% (minimum) of the people in our North American church pews wouldn't actually suffer for the sake of Christ and so aren't true to their calling and aren't faithful to the one they call Lord.

Why? Because we want to vindicate ourselves.

But self-vindication is in essence a form of idolatry, pride. When we focus on self-vindication, we in actuality adhere to the belief that we're better than God himself. God suffered insurmountable things during his time as a man on earth. Reading the passion narratives of the Gospels indicates this. Why should we think that we wouldn't suffer too? In fact Christ tells us that we will suffer, throughout the Gospels.

1 Peter 4:12-14 states,

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you.

If we know Christ intimately and once we start growing in Him, we know that this life is not really about us. We know that all things point to God. He is the one to be gloried, not us.

We need to get used to that. I need to get used to that. I am learning to let go of the rights I hold to vindicate myself. Christ will grant me glory as He sees fit, but only in order to reflect His glory in the first place.

So, insult me. Accuse me. Beat me up or imprison me. Why should I run from these things? Why should I fear letting people know where I stand with God? Why protect my pride, the very thing that separates me from the glory of God?

I will humble myself and pursue the truth of glory, God my King!